The Riot Grrrl Pantry: What the Coolest Girl Gang Keeps in Their Cupboards
There’s no such thing as neutral groceries.
If you cracked open the pantry of the New Girl Army, you wouldn’t find processed patriarchy or status-symbol supplements. You’d find rage in a reusable jar. Snacks with slogans. Sauces that scream. Dented tins with attitude. This is the Riot Grrrl Pantry — stocked by the kind of girl gang that runs a zine distro, breaks up with capitalism, and still has snacks at the meeting.
It’s DIY meets DTFU (don’t trust food uncritically), and you’re invited. Let’s take a tour of the riot-ready cupboard that fuels our movement.
🚪 The Pantry Door Has Stickers All Over It
- “Smash the Food Pyramid”
- “Microwave Capitalism, Not Meals”
- “This Kitchen Is Queer”
Let that set the tone.
🃏 RIOT GRRRL PANTRY TRADING CARDS
A collectible chaos set from the cupboards of the revolution
1. Beans (aka The Backbone)
She’s always there when you need her — lentils, chickpeas, black beans. She’s protein with principles. She keeps the crew strong and the budget tight. No fridge? No problem. She rolls deep in cans and bulk bags.
Alignment: Lawful Good (but in a revolutionary way)
Pantry Power Level: 🔋🔋🔋🔋🔋
Favourite Food Mission: Feeding 12 people with $5 and a spoon
Zine Pairing: Feed the Revolution: Punk Meal Plans for the Broke & Brave
Bio: Beans don’t blink. She’s been in more protest kitchens than you’ve had hot dinners. Nutrient-dense, endlessly flexible, and not afraid of pressure. Soak, simmer, serve with side-eye.
2. Nutritional Yeast (aka Nooch, The Flake)
Dusts everything in B-vitamin glitter and cheesy punk energy. She’s the one with a crusty tote bag full of secrets. Savoury as hell, never cheesy in spirit.
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Pantry Power Level: ✨✨✨✨✨
Favourite Food Mission: Cheesy flavour without the cow
Zine Pairing: The Nooch Papers Vol. 3: Sprinkle & Destroy
Bio: A flaky little legend. Nutritional yeast puts the POW in powder. She’s got a B12 punch, a taste for rebellion, and she’s not afraid to stick to your fingers like glitter at a craft riot.
3. Sriracha (aka The Loud One)
Not subtle. Will burn your ex’s name off your tongue. The kind of girl who shows up late but saves the dish. If she’s not in the cupboard, she’s in your bag.
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Pantry Power Level: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Favourite Food Mission: Making beige food scream
Zine Pairing: Hot Sauce, Cold Takes: A Spicy Manifesto
Bio: Burn first, ask questions later. Sriracha’s not here to be liked — she’s here to be felt. Beloved, misunderstood, and always in the mood to turn a snack into a slap.
4. Oats (aka The Organizer)
The planner. The binder. The one who shows up early with overnight oats and a printed agenda. She holds everything together — cookies, crumbles, protest snacks, and peace.
Alignment: Neutral Good
Pantry Power Level: 📎📎📎📎📎
Favourite Food Mission: Meal prep for the movement
Zine Pairing: Bland But Brave: The Carb That Could
Bio: She’s got a clipboard, a casserole dish, and a vision board. You can trust oats to get it done — binder, base, and comfort food therapist. Always dependable. Slightly dusty.
5. Miso Paste (aka The Quiet Intensity)
Lowkey salty. Deeply complex. Doesn’t say much, but when she’s around, everything tastes better. She’s fermenting some deep thoughts — and soup.
Alignment: True Neutral
Pantry Power Level: 🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊
Favourite Food Mission: Deep healing through salty broth
Zine Pairing: Umami Girl: Fermented Feelings and Soup Therapy
Bio: The introvert of the pantry gang. Miso doesn’t need the spotlight — she just makes everything better behind the scenes. Complex, funky, and emotionally evolved.
6. Apple Cider Vinegar (aka The Sharp One)
Knows every DIY trick in the book — hair rinse, salad dressing, bug bite balm. Slightly acidic, totally essential. Has been accused of witchcraft. She does not deny it.
Alignment: Lawful Witch
Pantry Power Level: 🧪🧪🧪🧪🧪
Favourite Food Mission: Cleaning wounds and counterculture
Zine Pairing: Vinegar Verses: Domestic Spells for Difficult Girls
Bio: ACV isn’t here to coddle. She cures, cuts, and casts. Used by witches, punks, and broke kids who learned from their nanas. Don’t get her in your eyes.
7. Popcorn Kernels (aka The Anarchist Snack)
Explodes under pressure. Brings the heat. Best when seasoned with nutritional defiance and a dash of DIY powdered rage.
Alignment: Chaotic Populist
Pantry Power Level: 💥💥💥💥💥
Favourite Food Mission: Loud snack, low budget, high morale
Zine Pairing: Popped Off: A Manifesto in 3 Ingredients
Bio: Explosive, crunchy, and unapologetically loud. Popcorn is the mosh pit of pantry items. Season with nutritional yeast, rage, and a side of screenprinting.
8. Instant Coffee (aka The Zine Queen)
Keeps the press running and the ideas jittering. Stirred with a stolen spoon, sipped between layout edits. She’s bitter, overworked, and absolutely essential.
Alignment: Chaotic Exhausted
Pantry Power Level: ☕☕☕☕☕
Favourite Food Mission: Fueling 3am collaging, crying, and calling your ex
Zine Pairing: Caffeine & Chaos: Notes from the Photocopier Room
Bio: Cranky, caffeinated, and holding this whole operation together with boiling water and spite. Instant coffee doesn’t sleep — she self-publishes.
9. Dried Fruit (aka The Unexpected Softie)
Sweet, chewy, a little wrinkled. Hangs with the trail mix punks but still writes poetry in her journal. Keeps sugar on hand for impromptu jam sessions (literal or emotional).
Alignment: Tender Femme
Pantry Power Level: 🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇
Favourite Food Mission: Gentle blood sugar spikes for emotional support
Zine Pairing: Crybaby Snacks: A Diary of Sweet Cravings
Bio: Sweet with shadows. Dried fruit is your snack when you’re journaling through the end of the world. She keeps longer than your last situationship and listens better too.
10. Hot Mustard (aka The Mouthy One)
Spicy, opinionated, and likely to stain your shirt — but in a good way. Comes in clutch when the pantry’s looking grim. Pairs well with revenge.
Alignment: Chaotic Sharp
Pantry Power Level: 👅👅👅👅👅
Favourite Food Mission: Cutting through the BS (and the bland)
Zine Pairing: Bite Me: A Condiment’s Guide to Confrontation
Bio: Hot mustard doesn’t whisper. She shows up to the potluck with fire in her throat and something to say. Sassy, stinging, and a little too honest — just how we like it.
🔥 Optional Members (But Let’s Be Real, They’re Core Too)
Tamari (The Gluten-Free Goth)
Dried Noodles (The Emergency Contact)
Coconut Milk (The Creamy Dreamy Alt-Girl)
Canned Tomatoes (The Red Flag — But In A Good Way)
Molasses (The Grandmother Witch of Sweeteners)
🍴 Kitchen Rules According to the Girl Gang
- Don’t apologize for your pantry.
Whether it’s bulk bin rice or dented can beans, food is power. Stock it how you live it. - Label your leftovers like they’re secret mixtapes.
“Do not eat unless you’re cool enough.” Bonus points for zine-style handwriting. - Cook like it’s a spell.
Stir widdershins if you’re angry. Simmer to process your feelings. Eat like you believe in collective joy. - There’s no such thing as too much garlic.
Vampires wish they could hang with us. - This is a safe(r) kitchen.
For vegans, for neurodivergent chefs, for queers in crop tops, for everyone building something better — one meal at a time.
🛒 Stock Your Own Riot Grrrl Pantry
The Riot Grrrl Pantry isn’t about perfection. It’s about provisioning for the fight. It’s a messy, scrappy, sometimes-mismatched collective of essentials — just like the crew behind the zine. This is what it means to feed the movement: on your own terms, with your own flavour, and a little extra garlic.
If you’re hungry, there’s always a spot at our table.
Pass the nooch.
➝ Share Your Pantry Power
Got your own rebel staples or protest snacks? We’re cooking up a community pantry zine and we want your contributions.
🖤 Snap a pic of your cupboard chaos.
🖤 Send us your rage-fuelled recipes or DIY seasoning blends.
🖤 Drop us your doodled shopping lists and annotated jars.
Your submission could end up featured in She Zine Mag or our next pantry spread — proof that no two cupboards of resistance look the same.
Email us: submissions@shezinemag.com
Tag us: @shezinemagazine #RiotGrrrlPantry
AXO (she/her) is a multidisciplinary creator, editor, and builder of feminist media ecosystems based in Toronto. She is the founder of She Zine Mag, Side Project Distro, BBLGM Club, and several other projects under the AXO&Co umbrella — each rooted in DIY culture, creative rebellion, and community care. Her work explores the intersection of craft, technology, and consciousness, with an emphasis on handmade ethics, neurodivergent creativity, and the politics of making. She is an advocate for accessible creativity and the power of small-scale cultural production to spark social change. Her practice merges punk, print, and digital media while refusing to separate the emotional from the practical. Above all, her work invites others to build creative lives that are thoughtful, defiant, and deeply handmade.
